Untitled Document
by EvelynandRose
Summary: Takes place after "Things Change." Beast Boy reflects on his relationship with Terra. -By Rose


No one could ever forget Terra.

Not after what she did.

She was so desperate to control her dangerous power. Desperate enough to seek help from someone who was only interested in controlling her, for his own benefit.

Slade.

He twisted her mind. Making her truly believe he was the only one left that would care about her problem. Who would guide her away from the death and destruction she was bound to force upon the world. The only one who would accept her flaws and help her fix them. If she had just told someone else, anyone else, that she needed help things could have ended a lot differently.

She did tell someone else. She told me.

Well, it was more of an accident really. We were sitting on the rocks below the tower, just talking. Suddenly, the earth below me rose and I fell. Flat on my butt, just like the graceful shape shifter I truly am. She freaked out, made me promise not to tell anyone that she had trouble with her powers. I knew my friends would want to help her. Terra didn't feel the same. Convinced that they would not accept her, she ran off. Came back about a few weeks later confidently claiming she wanted to be a Titan again and that she had learned to control her powers.

Of course she never said who was "helping" her gain control.

Terra also never said that she was secretly working that person, at that very moment, who wanted to kill me. Instead she decided to run away from us. Again. When she finally came to her senses and realized what Slade was doing to her, she fought back against him, saving me, my friends, and the entire city, but not herself. Terra's sacrifice will always be remembered.

No really like _always_ remembered. Remembered a year later at 4:38am Tuesday morning.

Yeah I can't sleep.

The following weeks after she sacrificed herself I used to stay up all night thinking about her and all the different opportunities I could've taken advantage of to save her life. Like if I did something slightly different she would still be with the Titans…

Or maybe just still breathing. That would have been nice too.

Eventually I got over it. I moved on and actually slept for a change, but ever since I saw her and talked to her at that school all the guilt came rushing back. The worst part would probably be the fact that she couldn't remember anything. Actually, no. That's not the worst. The worst part was the thought that she did remember but was choose to pretend she couldn't. I can't even talk to anyone about this, they all think I'm delusional. Especially after my conversation with Robin.

"Where were you? We needed you back there!"

"I was...busy."

"Doing what?"

"I- look its none of your business. I'm back, lets just forget about it."

"None of my business? It's none of my business that you've been disappearing everyday."

I stayed silent.

"Beast Boy, I want to know where you've been."

I started walking ahead of him, trying to pretend i couldn't hear.

"Beast Boy, I know you can hear me."

I kept walking.

"For crying out loud! Beast Boy, you could hear me if i was whispering!"

That was true, I do have amazing ears (that double as chick magnets). Still, I opened the T-car door and sat down, slamming it behind me. The car ride back was surprisingly silent, but i could feel everyone's eyes on me. They were probably concerned, I mean I'm not the type of guy that just storms off like that...at least not normally. It felt like forever before we got back to the tower. I tried to leave as fast as possible, to avoid any conversation, but of course Robin caught up to me in the halls. He grabbed my shoulder.

"Beast Boy, wait. We need to talk"

I sighed and turned to face him.

"Ok if you want an apology for earlier I'm sorry I ignored you-"

"No-I mean-look, I don't want an apology. I want to know what's been going on with you lately."

I decided it would be easier to fabricate a simple lie instead of pouring my heart out to Robin, of all people.

"You already know, I saw a girl that looked like Terra, I talked to her, found out she was someone else and left."

"Really? That's it?"

"That's it."

I could tell he didn't believe me. Why would he? But I suppose he decided to drop it.

"Well...alright." He opened his mouth and tried to say something else, but I turned away.

"Wait!" he called out.

"What."

"You're gonna come down later for dinner right?"

"I'm not that hungry, Rob."

"Oh please you're always-"

Growing impatient I cut him off with a cold stare.

"I'll be fine."

I've been in my room ever since. Knowing my friends dinner was probably spent expressing their concerns about my "strange behavior" or whatever. I'm actually surprised Cyborg never knocked on my door, although I'm not complaining. Skipping dinner was not a good idea because now I'm starving. It's now almost five o'clock. maybe I should just sneak into the kitchen and grab something, that way I wouldn't have to show my face for breakfast.

I rolled out of bed and threw on a random pair of pants and a t-shirt. As I made my way over to the door I tripped and fell on a random pile of junk, typical. I really needed to clean...not right now though. The door sild open and I stuck my head into the hallway. It was way too dark to walk in, at least for my clumsiness that is. I cautiously moved towards my night table and grabbed a flashlight. I approached the Tower's elevator and pressed the button. The doors opened in front of light shined at the empty space for a moment, then spun around and walked in the direction of Terra's room. Perhaps if I went in there I'd feel better...or worse. I slide inside and gazed at the artificial stars on the walls and ceiling. Oh yeah, worse, definitely worse. As I turned to leave the light from my flashlight was reflected back by an object on her table. Weird. Being naturally attracted to shiny things-like all animals I guess- I moved toward it. It didn't take long to realize what it was. My glue covered box, heart shaped box to be exact. I grasped it in my my hand, my vision now blurry.

I _really_ shouldn't have come in here_. _

I squeezed my eyes shut and ran my hand over the box. It was the same box I gave to Terra. The same box she pretended not to recognize when she held it in her hands the other day. I'm crying now. I wish I could get over this. I wish I could move past this but I don't know if I ever will. I'll always remember her…

But not this way

I don't have to torture myself over this... do I? No, no I don't. I'll never forget her selfless sacrifice. I'll never forget having fun with her. I'll never forget the lesson she taught me.

_It's never too late_

...so its not too late to make myself feel ok, right.

And maybe that's what she wanted when she pretended to be a different person. She would want me to move on. I know she would.

I opened my eyes, grabbed the flashlight, and sprinted out the door. I ran up to the elevator and pressed the button, the doors opened, I jogged inside. The doors closed, and I winced as the lights flashed on. I pressed the last button that would take me to the basement. From there I ran up the side stairwell to ground level and pushed the door open. The cold air hit me like...like a really angry fist that belonged to a person I had managed to tick off. I stepped toward a pile of rocks, carefully climbing down each one until my feet landed on _the_ _one_. I usually go to this rock when ever I feel like throwing a pity party. I'll sit down and sulk for hours on this thing, but today I'm standing. The sky was brighter, it wasn't pitch black anymore. It was like a dark gray with some soft pink on the horizon. I came to the realization that I was holding something in my hand. What? I put my flashlight down on the rock…

...Terra's box?

I didn't even realize I was still holding 's sleep deprivation for you. I held it for a moment then opened the lid, revealing the mirror inside. I dared to look at the reflection, not pretty. I seriously needed a tissue. Closing the lid I glanced at the box for one last time. I inhaled in one motion I crushed the box and threw it in the water. As the pieces raced away from my sight I felt a twinge of regret. However, once all of them disappeared I felt relase. I could breath again.


End file.
